Nana Malone

Am I the only one who squealed when I saw the trailer for Ellen Page’s new movie Whip It? If you haven’t seen the trailer, the main gist of the movie centers around an alterna-teen beauty pageant contestant who shuns the pageant lifestyle for the Jammers and Blockers of the Roller Derby set. For anyone who’s ever felt hemmed in, Derby might just be the sport for you.

A few years ago, DH and I stumbled across a Roller Derby match while on a date night. Imagine our surprise when the tween at the counter asked us if we were at the roller rink to skate or for Derby. We stared at the tween, then at each other, then back at the tween and declared with gusto “Derby!” I felt like there should have been some music or fanfare to signal our initiation into a world so outside of our daily ho-hum lives but as it turns out, we didn’t need the fanfare, Derby itself was enough.

Most of my life, my conservative mother has tried to get me to be more meek, less talkative and all around more ladylike. With their short skirts, shredded tights, no fewer than six tattoos apiece, and t-shirts emblazoned with names like “Steely Jan,” “Slamurai,” and “Bonnie D. Stoir,” there’s nothing meek or ladylike about the Derby girls. I felt an immediate kinship with these hell’s angels on wheels. They weren’t your typical female athletes. They were somehow way fiercer. Zipping around the tracks on a mission to destroy their opponents, often sending unsuspecting or inexperienced Jammers skidding to the crowds, they came to play.

The objectives are simple…ish. Get your Jammer around the opposing team’s blockers on the track twice to score. For more detailed rules, check out: http://www.derbydolls.com/sd/aboutus/index.html. As a Jammer it’ll help if you’re quick, sneaky and completely fearless.

It’s not your mother’s Derby where 70’s chicks zoomed around the tracks intent to search, destroy, and maim and torture, though there is a little search and destroy, after each of the matches both teams head out for drinks and food together. The idea and objective being chick camaraderie and education about the sport.

I immediately wanted to become one of them. Leave it to DH to point out that I could barely skate and my temper would probably keep me in the penalty box the whole match. *Blush*

In a world where society tells young girls if they’re not your typical pretty skinny cheerleader, that something is wrong with them, Derby provides a new home and way for all those who ever felt out of place, to fly…and maybe get out a little aggression.

DH came up with a Derby girl name for me if I ever learn how to skate properly: “Black & Deck Her.” Somehow he thinks it’s appropriate.

What would your derby girl name be?